Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
