no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
