Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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