You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
