Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize