Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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