made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
