I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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