DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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