anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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