And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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