You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
