Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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