where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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