I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
