Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
