Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
