i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
