We got so high we made milksteak
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
