Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
