Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
