better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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