fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
