so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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