I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
