He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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