Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
