just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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