You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
