So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
