It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
