im holly from the hills drunk
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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