i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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