I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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