To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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