youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
