went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i came on her dog
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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