im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
