I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
