go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
