Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
