babies were throwing up all over the place
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
