he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize