Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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