Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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