Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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