Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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