It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
