omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my shit smells like andre
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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