ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
