You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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