therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
