Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
