It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize