Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
