Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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