More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
