oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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