I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
