Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
