I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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