we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
