i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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