Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
