This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i out mim tonsoeep
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
