I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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